A Ways To Go

The last few months have certainly been an eye opener for me. I had my resilience tested and learned more of how to be resilient yet also discovered that it requires even further strengthening. I have learned that my tolerances are far greater in some areas and not so strong in others.

As much as some of my discovery of myself has been confronting, it is also providing me with opportunities for personal growth, further learning and becoming a better, stronger and happier woman.

I will always strive to be the best version of myself possible at any given moment in time. That is not negotiable for me. It is a commitment I made to myself a long time ago. It is also a reminder that one will never achieve whole entire greatness or perfection however one can be the best they can.

Discovering my tolerances are limited in certain aspects of my life is difficult to swallow. I feel a sense of guilt that they are not stronger. I feel a sense of failure they are not stronger. I feel a sense of not being as good a person as I strive to be.

Discovering or perhaps it is merely acknowledging that my resilience needs strengthening has been a hard one to accept too. I have been through my share of downs and made it out the other side. I have proven time and again I can endure then rise above the challenges life has provided me. What a blow to see that I am yet to reach a level of resilience that will have me on a more even keel the majority of the time.

With this recognition though, opportunities have arisen. I had the good fortune by chance to discover a diary that is focused on building one’s ‘Mental Fitness’ through building resilience.  I hesitated initially about purchasing it due to the cost however decided that it was an investment in my wellness and is there anything more valuable than one’s entire well-being.

My yearning for furthering my knowledge has increased and this has led me to articles, information, stories, videos, talks and quotes that are rather helpful for me. They assist me to develop myself even further. Writing has also been a great source of joy and dare I say, also somewhat therapeutic at times.

Time with those dearest to me has helped me stay as grounded as possible and they share their perspectives on how I am managing the challenges I have face. They see me in a different light to that of which I see myself and this too is incredibly valuable as it reminds me of how high a standard I aim to reach for myself.

One thing I know for sure, I am doing the best I can with what I know at this given point of my journey. I know I will learn and discover and recognise more as time passes and I face, endure and rise above the challenges life has in store for me. I am a woman who may crack and tremble and falter and cry on the surface but within is a foundation of tough grit I have inherited and will draw on to see me through. I will become more tolerant and I will become more resilient. My latest mantra is ‘I can, I will, I must’.

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