Ache in my soul for conversation

Sometimes I get an ache in my soul for conversation. Not the mere chit-chat or exchange of a few words. I am talking about a deeply engaged, thought-provoking, in-depth verbal conversation.

This does not happen so often nor in person. I do have my family close and delight in the face to face talks we have, when time permits.

My closest loved ones with whom I can discuss all manner of things with, live a distance from me. So, our conversations are odd phone calls or written messages back and forth.

With this being how it is, often I have plans and dreams held in silence within for days on end, until I am able to speak with them. I do cherish and appreciate their time and engagement with me, immensely.

Often, I have ideas, thoughts or plans around my Blog or Creative Writing that I would like to discuss. My soul yearns for that someone in my presence who is in my corner that I could discuss anything and everything with, at any given time. That confidante, friend, sounding board, analyser and #1 supporter.

Instead, I need to get this from my loved ones who are not around me very often. My partner is ‘Aspie’ (has Asperger’s). I am a neurotypical. Needless to say, I find some of his ways challenging. I am certain he also feels challenged by my neurotypical ways. Communication or engagement are not strengths he possesses.

As I write this, the ache in my soul gets stronger. I was doing some work prior to getting ready to turn in for the night. An idea came and I so wanted to talk it over with a close someone. That was not possible. The time of evening was not conducive to making a phone call to my aforementioned special people.

The idea stays in my mind or gets scrawled in a notebook. Tomorrow brings with it the busyness of the day and people’s schedules. It is likely I will spend most of it without conversation or verbal engagement.

This is nothing new and I will continue doing what I love and working on my own. Just some moments, the ache is too strong to ignore.

ache in my soul for conversation

Image credit: Gerd Altmann

You may also like to read a previous post I wrote about what spurs me on in Soulful Reflections


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