At the forefront of my mind this past week, has been a reflection on circumstances, life and my journey.
A change in my world, that utterly rocked me, was in part, the trigger for this inundating contemplation.
Whilst this period of reflection, has been quite involved, it reminded me of what I have to be thankful for.
As I enter the eve of the second anniversary of Mumma Sue’s View, I am filled with joy and gratitude.
I have made some beautiful friendships and have wonderful interactions with my lovely followers. Other special moments involve authors and other aspiring writers. I have reconnected with some old acquaintances who are now delving into the world of writing.
The two years have been a continuous learning curve; sometimes a very steep one. I thrive on learning and gaining new skills and knowledge. It has been a very enjoyable aspect of what I have been doing.
I feel immense joy when I pass on knowledge I have acquired, to an aspiring writer like myself.
All this has filled my being with excitement, contentment, joy, fear and yearning.
Right there, has been a loved one who is incredibly dear to me beyond words. They have been one of my most valued, treasure and loyal supporters of my journey.
Now, I am doing it without their support and encouragement. This may be temporary, or it may be the new way it will be from this moment forward.
I struggle with the possibility that they may not be able to witness or celebrate with me, what I will achieve. All I can hope for is a miracle that will bring the best outcome possible.
The highs and lows of what we have shared over our lifetime, along with the gazillion conversations we have had, give me reason to pause for deep reflection.
Contemplation of the possibilities of the very immediate future, and the weeks and months beyond, send my emotions into a chaotic frenzy. It takes a concerted effort to bring my emotions into a calm state once more.
As I reflect on the nine days thus far, wave of nervousness floods my body. My world has changed and I know this is only the beginning. It has been one of the most tumultuous, confronting and heartbreaking roller-coaster of emotional and mental rides I have been on.
No matter what happens, I want them to be proud of me. I am digging deeper into my resilience than I have ever dug before. Attempting to regain focus on my writing and all that they have supported me in is important. I do not wish for their support to have been in vain.
Loved ones and life – it can, and sometimes does, change in a split second.
Further reading: on the eve of the fourth month of doing Mumma Sue’s View, I was reflective and wrote about it in Soulful Reflections
Image from Pixabay