I have a little quote card that says “Live less out of habit and more out of intent”.
Now in these years that I have an empty nest, I am finding it easier to live less out of habit and have more flexibility in my days however I also have some habits that have continued on with me regardless. The mere fact that I am aware of this, means that I can acknowledge it and take steps to change my ways.
Intentions were often mentioned in my childhood years. I clearly remember in my teens that my parents would say that they were not going to make plans because even the best of their intentions failed. I could not buy into that way of thinking; it doesn’t suit me at all.
I would rather have intent and be flexible in my thinking to be aware that things change and my plans may require to be altered from time to time due to unforeseen circumstances than not bother to make plans or do anything in the first place.
Intent is a part of my every day, in varying degrees dependent upon the interest or task it is around. Some of my old habits that I am working on changing to more helpful habits inhibit this intent on occasion.
On the opposite side of the coin is my partner with ASD. He very much lives a life of habit and routine. Part of the habits is a condition called ‘Learned Helplessness’ and the remainder is the structure that he requires to manage the way he functions throughout the day. He has capacity to do many things however these habits often hinder them from coming to fruition.
With people not on the spectrum, I know I can mention something and immediately that has become an intent that will be actioned. Not the case with my partner. I can point out my observations about the car being in need of a wash and interior clean or the grass is getting high or any number of other examples and there is no translation of that is a task to be done nor any transference to it becoming an intent.
This in itself challenges me; my partner living a life of habit and I am trying to live a life of intent. As with all that I have learned so far about my partner’s abilities and needs, I too shall continue to observe and learn whilst investigating ways or strategies that allow me to live my life being true to myself and aiming to fulfil my potential.
How do you live your life – is it out of habit or is it one out of intent?
