Missing someone can be tough. Longing to spend time with loved ones, who live in a different part of the country, tumbles into missing them more. Yearning to hear loved ones voices to keep connected with them snowballs into missing them more. Seeing in your mind’s photo album, the faces of loved ones you crave to be with bubble into missing them more. A triggered memory of moments with a loved one, who has passed, turns into missing them more.
Why do we miss them though? We only have to call to hear their voice and if you are all fancy with technology, can see their face too. We can plan a visit and spend time together. We have the memories to remind us of them. We can visit the resting place of our loved ones passed.
What is it that we truly seek? What is it we need to fulfil within us? Is it perhaps connections where we can reach out and touch them; the physical contact that bonds us? The gentleness of a warm hug or of a soft hand resting on our shoulder, the holding of hands, and the ‘I miss you’ cuddles.
When a newborn baby’s little fingers wrap around yours you feel delight at their gentle touch. When a child throws their arms around your neck and rests their head upon you, the closeness brings joys. When a young adult sidles up to you and gives you a quick side hug before anyone sees them, you feel happiness. When an adult gives you a long embracing cuddle you don’t want it to end. When a loved one places their hand on yours to reassure, we breathe.
When we encounter these beautiful moments of contact with someone we love, cherish, treasure or value, they throw down a little marker in our memory; a place of reference tying us to the event and the accompanying emotion. So when we think of them or the event, the emotion tags along and resurfaces within us. These moments feel so wonderful, we desire more of them. These moments can only be achieved again, in each other’s presence. These moments are not so easy to have. This is what makes us miss someone so deeply. In the case of our loved ones who have passed, we miss them so much more because we cannot have these moments again.
In the missing of all the special people in our lives, they are valuable to us and the moments we have with them are priceless. The memories we gain every time we are with them, although causes us to miss them when apart, also provides for joyous feelings, smiles and sometimes even chuckles as we recall special moments. The gentleness of their touch, their hugs and their beaming eyes cements the bond we share and offers us the promise of more amazing feelings with the next embrace; and why wouldn’t we want more of these wonderful moments.
So missing someone isn’t all that bad, it is just tough. Next moment you get with a loved one, make it last just a little while longer. And enjoy! x