Tomorrow marks week seven of my knee injury and the time that I pretty much have spent at home. I haven’t been able to drive although I did try a couple of weeks ago and my knee regressed. Anytime out of the house and yard has been on weekends when my partner isn’t working mainly to do errands and a couple of times when a loved one took me out.
A couple of days ago I felt the cabin fever really hitting home. I had had enough of walls and fences and the same scenery for days on end. It kind of surprised me as I don’t mind my own company and am rather content at home. I suppose it is the constant day in and day out of it with restrictions on what I can do that finally caught me out.
One thing I have really noticed since being at home so much is that I am surrounded by a lot of green. There is green everywhere! All my indoor plants are green and the only break in colour is my now flowering hoya plant. Even the poinsettia leaves are still green. Outdoors there is green everywhere – potted plants and some of the pots are even green, the trees, the guttering, the painted window trims albeit a lighter shade, it is still green. Oh and half of the perimeter fences are, you guessed it – green!
Now that I have realised this, I am seeing green everywhere. I need some colour! Hooray, one of the crepe myrtle trees is flowering gorgeous pink flowers. A vine is sprucing orange and yellow flowers. The purple creeper is taking off. Yay! Colour! I eagerly check each day to see if the strawberries and tomatoes have ripened to add some more colours to my world of green.
Along with the cabin fever have been some glum feelings and frustrations over the last few days as I worked on some necessary projects not of my choosing but ones where it is beneficial and helpful for me to do so. It has left me drained, mentally.
Emotionally, the last few years have been getting more difficult to endure over the festive season as family don’t come home for a meal anymore. I do hope to change this for next year or the year after. It is not the same as it was – I loved the house full of my loved ones and the joy and excitement the grandkids exuded permeated my home. I long for that again. I also long to spend some time with my youngest son on xmas day; it has been far too many years because we live a good distance apart.
I am not sharing this in search of sympathy; I am being real about what my view is at the moment. I read only this morning how so much is glossed over and glorified on social media that when someone sees it and their experience is different and not so rosy, it can instigate depressive feelings and exacerbate loneliness. I understand this only too well.
I am happy for the families who are able to get together and enjoy time with one another over the festive season. I also feel empathy towards the people who spend it alone or are missing someone terribly. Not everyone has a wonderfully happy and joyous time over this season. Spare a thought for the elderly who are alone, the sick who are not able to be with their loved ones and the homeless, the folks who are separated from their families and the people whose chosen career sees them rostered on to provide essential services to our community.
So, to brighten my day and pack up those glum feelings, music has been my friend and I am colouring my world with as many bright and beautiful colours as I can, putting the darkness to bed. My empathy and happiness for others remains and I am grateful for what I do have and whom I am able to spend time with. I will always miss my loved ones who are not close by due to distance, which just seems to be accentuated at this time of year.
I wish you very few dark days and may you have many bright days, happiness, gratitude and time with loved ones, whenever possible. Take care folks and be kind to yourself and those you meet x
Image: Tim Redaktur