Awake Again – Rising From a Dark Winter

SEptember 21

5.40a.m. I am awake. Not just drowsily awakening. Instantly wide awake but with my eyes still closed tight.

“Why?” I cast the question to the Universe.

Cold weather is a friend I tolerate with some distaste. Not for its lack of beauty. More so for the immense discomfort it blankets me with. The forecast for this morning is rather cold. Mother Nature has decided to give us a jolt with a southerly blast three weeks into Spring.

As much as I bury myself beneath the covers, dragging them high around my head, and keeping my eyes glued shut, I am awake. There is no denying that my brain has opened its doors with a huge ‘Welcome’ sign inviting thoughts to stream through.

I want to slam the doors shut. I am not ready to begin my day yet.

All of a sudden a crowd rushes the doors with gusto. Idea after idea gushes forth.

Slow down! Give me a second to direct this traffic!

In the midst of this, an announcement comes over the loud speaker. “That is what I want to tap into.”



That would have knocked me off my feet had I been standing.

Ideas have not spawn for months.  What is this about tapping into my former writing self? That part of me that writes like I did in the beginning of this journey. Back in the time when people stated with conviction that I should be a writer.

I am certain my face is adorned with a stunned mullet expression. Wow, this has been a revelation!
I feel a small shift within. Is the ‘Great Freeze’ beginning to thaw?

Within the hour I have rehearsed these ideas, tucked thoughts into a basket, risen, dressed and am tapping away on the keyboard, watching the blank space before me disappear.

September 23

The early afternoon, and I have returned to review my writings of two days ago. Over this time I have pondered as to what I shall do with this written piece.

A wave racing to the shoreline swirls and rolls through me carrying the grains of trepidation. They land together on the sand, inciting a nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach. I tilt the beach umbrella forming a barrier between myself and Ms Inner Critic who wants to join in and party with trepidation.

In searching for something to steady myself, my eyes fall upon the words “That is what I want to tap into” curled in ink in the corner of a page. It is enough to feel centred again, and gather my belongings.

It may be a walk and a half across the sand, a trudge up and over the sand dune, and an arduous trek through the scrubland but oh, what an adventure it can also be.

Where will my muse guide me to this time? Oh, I cannot wait to find out!

awake and coming out of the dark

Image from Peter H at Pixabay

You might also like to read one of my favourite short fictional pieces I wrote – An Unforgettable Night on the Mountain


  1. Your words riveted me to the page, and my excitement for your outstanding descriptions of those moments also inspired me. So stay awake, my dear friend, because your gift truly makes reading your musings an enjoyment.

    Shirl Smith

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.