A couple of days ago, I had a flat moment and a minute amount of fear tried to sneak in. In conversation with one of my loved ones, I mentioned that one of the things that is scary about putting something I have written out there in the public forum is that folks could now come to the determination that what they once thought, is now conclusive; she is crazy! With a laugh I heard the words “We already know that you are”. Well didn’t that shut down that fear immediately; no room for any self-indulgent restlessness there. I was catapulted to acceptance.
What would it matter anyway if that is what some think; isn’t it merely a matter of perception? What do we base the perception we have of ourselves on – the views of others? Why allow that to cloud our view of ourselves, what we know within our being to be true.
Here was the opportunity (again) for accepting myself as I am, who I am, how I am. I suppose therein lies the root of the issue also – being accepted by others. We as people want to belong. We want to matter in others’ lives. We want to make a difference to the people we encounter. I am no exception here.
There is a little nagging, somewhat annoying, barely audible, little voice of unreason that is dwarfed by the distance it is from my conscious thoughts that attempts to do a Usain Bolt sprint to front and centre of my mind. If I catch it whilst it is warming up, all is well, it doesn’t get to the starting blocks. If however, I am preoccupied, it can catch me out and before I know it, it is sprinting full pelt and with the same difficulty I would have of trying to stop Usain Bolt, it charges until I fire the false start gun to halt it in its tracks. There is no way I want it to reach the finish line – it has been too long a journey to get it where it is now and there is no place for it on my mantelpiece.
So the reminder is that the perception of ourselves needs to be based on what we know to be true, deep within the core of our being. We need to deflect the perception others have of us, especially when it is an unhelpful one.
Be true to whom you are and value yourself, craziness and all x
