Sitting on the proverbial fence is sometimes a most helpful act. As similar this is to being in a state of limbo, which most people find an uncomfortable place, it can serve its purpose. It is that in-between space where you do not need to fully commit to one way or another. A space you can ponder the consequences of choosing this action or that action. The place where you give yourself permission to take time to make a choice. You can now make a decision without the feeling of urgency to do so.
The choice to remain ‘on the fence’ can be a reassuring one. This is so because you reached the conclusion that it is better to be in this non-committal space rather than waiting in limbo for reasons out of your control. Oh the irony of that commitment.
I have been a person who has not liked that indecisive space and the waiting for the determination of whether a decision that shall affect me would go this way or that. Now, in this stage of my life and with a particular circumstance, I have found solace in sitting on the fence.
This came about after heartache over a changed relationship of my inner circle. Every time there was interaction with the other person, I felt discord and discontent. It caused disturbance to my inner peace. I was in a constant state of turmoil, mentally and emotionally. The time had come to decide whether the regular contact with this person was worth compromising my contentment any longer.
It was a truly difficult decision to make however not as difficult as my daily life had been for some time. The choice to not have contact with this person for a while allowed me to put in parameters around the relationship. Those boundaries gave me a free space on the fence to cast my eye towards both having interactions regularly and also to having zero interactions ever again.
Sitting on the fence has provided for having interactions when it is suitable for me. It does not mean I don’t respect this person or the relationship. What it really means is that I truly respect myself more. This relationship has had its fair dose of toxicity for a long time. I have now minimalised that exposure. Small doses are manageable to my health and well-being. This way allows for the door to remain open for contact when it is suitable. This has been the most helpful outcome for me in this situation.
Have you ever found yourself comfortable sitting on the fence? Is this scenario something you have considered before?
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You may also like to click here to read an article on ‘How to Handle a Toxic Relationship’
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